“What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” Matthew 8:27 (NLT)
I cannot swim. I almost drowned when I was a kid and never successfully learned how to swim. Oceans, lakes, and rivers, as beautiful as they are, FRIGHTEN me. I will put my feet in the water, and I may even let it reach my waist, but I will never, physically, put my head underwater. Now, spiritually, that is a different ball game.
When I was younger, I did not trust God as much as I do now. When it came to trusting in God, I saw myself standing in a large body of water, waist deep, afraid to go any further. On my end, I saw wild winds and unsteady waves. I did not want to put my head under, even though I knew God was going to protect me. I did not want to risk drowning for a future I could not see. There were situations where the clouds were too dark and the water was too deep, and I decided to walk back and be ankle deep with God again. Fear kept me from going under and letting go.
“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.” Isaiah 43:2 (NLT)
A few years ago, I was being pursued by this guy that I really liked. I wanted to trust God with the situation, but I kept rushing myself and this guy I liked because I just wanted to be in a relationship so badly. I dove head first into a situation that ended up breaking my heart.
I drowned because instead of trusting God by letting him carry me through the raging storm, I tried to fight the waves by myself. I ended up heartbroken and shipwrecked.
Through that situation, God taught me to always wear a life jacket. That life jacket for me is the Holy Spirit because no matter how much I want to trust God by myself, I cannot do it without the encouragement and strength that the Holy Spirit gives me.
Admitting that you have a hard time trusting God is OKAY! He is not offended by it and He still loves you! Trusting Him can be hard, but it is worth every ounce of fear and doubt in your heart. He has seen your life and the situations that have put you in this current position. He has seen the people who have broken your heart and destroyed your trust.
Humans are not perfect, and due to the sin and ignorance of this world, sometimes not trusting other people can turn into being afraid to trust God. Do not be afraid and do not be discouraged.
Whether you are ankle-deep, waist-deep, or still testing the waters on the beach, God is reaching his hands out, and He wants to teach you how to float in His faithfulness. You may be in a storm, but the waves and wind still know His name.
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalms 56:3 (NIV)