“For we have the living Word of God, which is full of energy, and it pierces more sharply than a two-edged sword. It will even penetrate to the very core of our being where soul and spirit, bone, and marrow meet! It interprets and reveals the true thoughts and secret motives of our hearts. There is not one person who can hide their thoughts from God, for nothing that we do remains a secret, and nothing created is concealed, but everything is exposed and defenseless before his eyes, to whom we must render an account.” Hebrews 4:12-13 (TPT)
I heard these words being read by my online fitness coach as I stretched to one of her
restore (stretching) videos. This struck me right into my heart and core. The day before this, the Lord revealed so many things to me about my heart over a text message from a close friend of mine. It revealed things I never said out loud. I immediately felt shame and guilt. I did what I normally would do; I ignored it and shoved it down by exercising.
As I was working out I could not focus. Usually, I would use this time to talk to Jesus, but at that moment, I was focusing on myself and my workout. Because if I began to face Him, He then would have wanted me to face my issues in my heart, and I was not ready for that.
I was like Peter when he denied Jesus three times and then fled and cried in shame and guilt (Luke 22:54-62). Just as I found myself running away from God in my heart, so did Peter. He went fishing with the rest of the disciples, and they did not catch any fish all night (John 21:3). Jesus then appeared on the scene and asked them if they had caught any fish. They replied, “no.” Then Jesus told them to cast their net to the otherside of the boat. Adhering to his request, the disciples caught plenty of fish (John 21:6).
What is the lesson in this? We cannot do anything apart from the father (John 15). I was trying to do life without Jesus by my side. Something so simple as exercising became difficult because I was unaligned with The Father. Whatever we do is unto the Father (1 Corinthians 10:31).
The day I received that text message, I went on working for DoorDash and ignored all of my heart issues. I then received a phone call from that friend who sent that text message. This person called me asking about what I thought about the message she had sent since I did not respond. Everything in me wanted to just deny it all, but I could not. I felt trapped. Everything that I could think of spilled into her lap over the phone as I sat in a Target parking lot. So many tears ran down my face in a span of two hours. My face was burning from the tears. He comes to the places where I hide (Song of Solomon 2:9). Even at Target. HA!
Throughout the phone call, I could not see the good in my heart being exposed.
I saw it as God pointing the finger at me and saying, “there you go again! What a shame!”
However, that is not the character of God. He does not point the finger at us; Satan does. I believed the lies that were spoken over me by the enemy. This made me spiritually blinded.
As I was able to speak on the things that made me uncomfortable, I was able to see God’s loving kindness. He is a loving and caring God. Who God loves he corrects (Hebrews 12:6). His love is perfect and gets rid of all fear of punishment (1John4:18).
Allow the Lord to reveal the things in your heart that you refuse to talk about because of shame, guilt, feeling unloved, etc. He loves you and wants to see you free! I pray that Jesus encounters you in a way that exposes and heals the depths of your heart that you are hiding from Him.
Surrender and watch how His love ravishes your heart!
Exposure equals freedom.