It has been a rough month. The unexpected has caught my family off guard, while the expected has fallen through. When I thought I knew the path, God once again showed me I did not, but that did not give me the answer of where it actually was going either.
And that is hard.
It is hard to hope and to be let down. It is hard to think you are right to then find out you are not. And truly, it makes you want to hide – to hide from the world, hide from God, hide from the work He has put in front of you.
However, hiding also makes you feel unworthy of the good things He has already given.
Why do I deserve to serve Him when I let my own disappointment get in the way?
Then, Judges 6:12-14 (KJV) truly taught me a hard lesson.
“And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him, and said unto him, The Lord is with thee, thou mighty man of valour. And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the Lord be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt? but now the Lord hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites. And the Lord looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee?”
Here Gideon is called a “Mighty Man of Valour” by an angel that appeared to him, but we also see here that Gideon is still human. He has the human weakness of asking for clarification, wanting to understand more, and questioning himself.
No, these things are definitely not what we want to do when God is calling us to action, but how many times have I felt not good enough because I had let Him down?
How many times have I said, I am not the one for that job,and I just did not get up and go? I asked questions and did not just go for it, so now, it is not for me?
Jonah RAN AWAY from God’s call. He fled! And what did God do? He taught him a lesson inside the belly of a whale, then spit him out right where he needed to be to complete the task God asked him to do from the beginning!
Just because we have side stepped, or been afraid, does not mean that God does not want us anymore.
Verse 14 says, “Have not I sent thee?”
God chose you because He has a plan for your life.
God chose you because, little do you know, you ARE capable. You may not feel it or see it, but God KNOWS.
God knows what you need to turn away from. He knows the things to let in to help you grow a little stronger and to make you lean into Him a little more.
He does not call the qualified! God qualifies those He calls.
Follow Emily’s Instagram @the_modest_wife and/or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.