“Oh are you expecting? I’ve noticed you’ve put on weight.”
This question was like a knife through my heart. No, I was not pregnant. Yes, I had gained a lot of weight. I thought people had enough sense to not ask that question to a woman.
I smiled politely and replied, “No ma’am, I have just been dealing with some health issues.”
Driving home that night, the tears hit me. Any woman who has been asked this question when they are not actually pregnant knows how belittling it makes you feel.
But then another fear shook me and made me want to cry even harder. This health condition I was faced with decreased my chances of having children at all. What if I never got to experience pregnancy and motherhood?
God swooped in on my wandering mind and reminded me of His promises.
But when the promise is not in sight, how do you maintain hope?
I have found I must remember first, what God has already done for me. Secondly, I must hold tight to those promises with full faith.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. ” Hebrews 10:23
WHAT GOD HAS DONE
In my life, God has brought so many promises to pass, and sometimes I forget those. For one, my husband was a promise I had to wait patiently for. We had been friends for about 6 months when God began to affirm to me that I would marry Brandon one day. Unfortunately, I was only 17 at the time, and it required A LOT of waiting. We dated five years before getting married, but “He who promised is faithful.”
When I was 12, God told me one day He would be using my love for writing to bring him glory. Here I am, at 24 years old, writing for Unveiling Eden that is being read in over a dozen countries. He who promised is faithful.
If for one moment I forget how faithful God has been in my life, I will be left wandering in the wilderness of doubt and fear just as the Israelites were unable to obtain the Promised Land because they failed to remember all of the promises and miracles God had done in their life leading up to that point.
HOLD TIGHT TO THE PROMISE
God has been preparing me for motherhood my entire life. You see, since I was a young girl, motherhood was all I dreamed about. I was the oldest of four children as well as the oldest grandchild in my family. All the adults called me “Mama Tori”, even when I was as young as 5 years old. I was always taking care of a baby in my family.
Around high school, God promised me I would raise up children one day for His kingdom and told me not to chase after any job that may prohibit me from investing in my children the way He planned for me.
Have you ever made a promise, and you closed the deal by joining pinky fingers? Or you “crossed your heart and hoped to die”?
Yet who hasn’t broken a pinky promise?
People will fail to keep their promises, but my God is faithful. He does not seal His promises with just a simple gesture, but with something much stronger. His promises are sealed with the blood of Jesus, who was also a promise to all of mankind.
“When God made his promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for him to swear by, he swore by himself, saying, ‘I will surely bless you and give you many descendants.’” – Hebrews 6:13-14(NIV)
“God keeps every promise He makes.” Proverbs 30:5 (GNB)
No matter what words of fear this world or the enemy try to throw at me, I must let my faith in his promises be stronger than my fear. I must hold tight to those promises.
If you are struggling to believe in his promises, remember where He has brought you out from and have faith that He who promised is faithful.