“I found the one my heart loves.” Songs of Solomon 3:4
As I sipped my coffee one morning, I read these exact words that were so beautifully printed on the inside of my coffee mug. This precious mug was a gift from my college friend when I first got married. The outside of the cup had “Mrs.” cutely written on it, and the scripture on the inside was to remind me of my husband.
Little did my friend know, there was irony in this. My whole teenage life, I sought after what I thought was love. Starting in middle-school I had a boyfriend, and the desire to be liked and loved only grew from there. Of course, I liked feeling wanted and pretty. Who doesn’t like being told nice things? I enjoyed always having a guy to text or talk to on the phone. The thrill of crushes, dating, and breakups seemed like love, so I rode on that throughout my teenager years.
Fast forward to today – I am married to the man of my dreams, and we have two beautiful children together. As I sat drinking my coffee this morning, the irony hit me – I found the one whom my heart loves long before I met my husband.
All those younger years, I went to church and youth group, lifting my hands during worship. I would even sometimes read my Bible and then often talk to God. Yet, my heart still sought affirmation and affection elsewhere.
I was fooled, as so many of us are, that finding the one our hearts most desires is in a guy. As if, one day, my soul mate would come and complete me, and I would finally feel all the affection I would ever need.
Although my husband is incredible and truly my dream husband, he is a person. He has faults and can never live up to the true absolute standard of perfect love. God gave us a hunger and a desire to seek and find this love. Too often, we go looking for it in people, when in all actuality, it’s Jesus’ love that was designed to complete us and make us whole.
In 1 John 4:8, it tells us that God is love.
What? God is love?
Yes! He, Himself, resonates what true love looks like. His love is not just emotions but is demonstrated through the actions and choices He has made.
“This is real love–not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” 1 John 4:10
I guess you could say it was hard for me to truly grasp this great love that God has for me. Yes, He died on the cross for me, but His physical presence wasn’t there, and I didn’t “feel” loved by Him.
Are we supposed to just believe and have faith that His love for us is real?
The answer is yes, but honestly it became an easy and excited yes when I truly surrendered my heart to Him. I began to seek Him first through reading my Bible and surrounding myself with people who loved Him. This brought me into a deep well of love, too great for words to describe. I truly began to sincerely receive God’s overwhelming passion for me that has literally changed my heart.
I no longer choose sin, I choose Him. He has displayed His desire for me even on my weakest and ugliest days. His zeal for me is far greater than anything this world can offer, even if it is lavished in the deepest and fondest ways by my husband or mother.
“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
When this unexplainable love from Jesus becomes undeniable, the first and greatest commandment, to love God, becomes something our hearts desire. He compels us to draw near to Him and yearn for His goodness.
Through faith and trusting Him, God has shown me that He will never fail me or let me down. This draws me to worship and make Him the center of my life and the center of my day. With great desire and sometimes simple obedience, I choose to pray and read His Word with anticipation of what He will tell me or how He will grow me.
After experiencing this great love, how can I not choose HIM? He was there all along, waiting for me, waiting for you. I have found the one my heart loves.