It is Wednesday night, and I am pretty excited to see some close friends for a night of studying God's word at a coffee shop.
Towards the end of the Bible study, we began discussing our fathers. Everyone was sharing a little bit here and there about their father and what kind of person he is and what not. As I was sharing about the kind of man my father is, I found myself getting really emotional. I began sharing about how he was always working.
I remember seeing my father work since I was young. I would wake up at seven or eight in the morning when I was a child and try to see him before he left for work because I knew he was going to be at work all day.
My dad is a barber, so he works typically 12 plus hours a day. During the holidays that quickly turned into almost 24-hour days because my father believes in providing for his family to the fullest.
Recently, things at home haven’t been that great financially. I lost my job a year ago due to a foolish decision that led to legal matters, my mother lost her job, and then Coronavirus temporarily put my dad out of work. All of the money that I had saved up ran out and I couldn’t pay my bills anymore. My dad took on all of the weight of every bill that he already was paying and even more. He was the only provider for a while.
My dad was working seven days a week nonstop until he made himself sick. I was crying my eyes out because I was so low in my own despair for so many reasons. I cried to God constantly to give him a better strategy to make money. It hurt me to see him work so much. He would cut the grass for multiple people, come home to take a bath, and go straight to the barber shop to cut hair.
I was so sick to my stomach; it increased the depression I was already dealing with.
I didn't really share how much this hurt me to anyone other than my mother. It wasn't until that Wednesday evening at bible study that I began to pour out what I had shoved down for so long.
I say all of this to say: vulnerability is the key to life. We all need someone we can pour our hearts out to. God created us for relationships, both with Him and with each other.
Do not be afraid to spill your heart to a close friend you trust. You need to share your heart not only for you, but so that your friends may carry that burden with you and begin to pray for you.
Jesus wants to hear your heart and He places people in our lives that we can share our hearts with. My prayer is that you would allow Jesus to unveil your heart so that He can relieve you of the burdens you are carrying. He loves you. Seek Him. Pour your heart out to Him.
“Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ.[ So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God,[ praising him always. Follow the example of all that we have imparted to you and the God of peace will be with you in all things.”
Philippians 4:1-8 TPT